


Confessions of a Disaster Hufflepuff

by pearlcaddy



Series: The Wizarding World of Food Service [3]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Food Service, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter, Alternate Universe - Wizarding World Theme Park, Banter is My Love Language so It's Jukebox's Too, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Living!Phantoms AU, Luke Patterson the Disaster Hufflepuff, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearlcaddy/pseuds/pearlcaddy
Summary: Luke has two tasks: tell Julie he’s in love with her and invite her to join the band. But he’s nothing if not a disaster, so things don’t go according to plan.Further shenanigans in the Living!Phantoms Wizarding World Theme Park Workers AU
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Luke Patterson & Nick
Series: The Wizarding World of Food Service [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013403
Comments: 283
Kudos: 580





	Confessions of a Disaster Hufflepuff

**Author's Note:**

> This probably won’t make sense if you haven’t read [Wizard Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27500788), so check that out first!
> 
> bee1103 requested Julie finally telling Luke that the sound Sunset Curve is missing is her, and that idea spun impressively out of control.
> 
> Once again, I take no credit/blame for the pick-up lines (except for the band variants).
> 
> [iOS text skin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845/chapters/14729722) courtesy of CodenameCarrot and La_Temperanza

The twin realizations strike Luke seemingly out of the blue.

In retrospect, the realizations shouldn’t have been a surprise. Nor should it have been a surprise that they would strike at the Three Brooms. Maybe it’s unexpected that it happens on a bussing shift—he thinks of his relationship with Julie as being centered around expo and the Butterbeer carts. But they’ve worked some pretty great bussing shifts together too.

So he shouldn’t be surprised but he really is.

When he slips into the supply closet to get an extra bin of forks, he sees Julie hovering at the restocking station, writing frantically on a napkin with a quill pen.

“What’s up?” he asks.

She doesn’t take her eyes off the napkin or slow her writing. “You know that progression in the pre-chorus of ‘Bright’ that you’ve been struggling with? I had an idea and I just needed to get it down before ‘Arrival of Baby Harry’ wiped it out of my ear forever.”

He stops short. “You had an idea for ‘Bright?’”

Her gaze stumbles off the napkin, like she was caught doing something wrong. “Is that okay? I know it’s your song, it was just a thought—”

Eager, he skips toward her. “Jules, show me.”

She quickly finishes writing and passes it to him. He can feel her eyes on his face as he reads the chord progression she’s scribbled down. It plays in his head, slotting into the song, and… yeah, it’s perfect. Exactly what “Bright” was missing.

He glances at her. Her teeth gnaw nervously on her lip, like her suggestion will be anything other than perfect.

And all at once, he knows. He’s in love. And Julie needs to join the band.

The Butterbeer Himbos Group Chat:  
  
Reggie:   
those are revelations?  
i thought u already knew both of those things  
  
Luke:  
i’ve thought about her joining the band  
but today it felt… clear, you know?  
like, what have we been doing not having her in the band?  
  
Alex:   
We assumed you were waiting for something  
  
Luke:  
waiting for what??? is there something i should be waiting for?  
  
Reggie:   
i thought u made up some luke thing in ur mind  
like that u can’t date someone in the band unless ur in a serious committed relationship for at least 2 years first  
  
Luke:  
fuck, should that be a rule???  
  
Alex:   
NO. STOP MAKING THIS NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED  
  
Reggie:   
me and alex want her in the band  
no point playing gigs as sunset curve when we really want to be julie and the butterbeers  
  
Alex:   
That is not the name of the new band, but I agree  
  
Reggie:   
julie and the colds and the frozens  
  
Alex:   
What’s a word that’s stronger than no and also means “I am eternally disgusted?”  
  
Luke:  
j.k. rowling  
  
Alex:   
Look, Julie is an adult and, according to the linear progression of time, you are too   
And you’re both professionals  
If your relationship doesn’t work out, I’m sure you’ll handle the fallout maturely  
  
Reggie:   
(haha u just called luke mature)  
  
Luke:  
you didn’t react to the other news  
  
Reggie:   
what news?  
  
Luke:  
that i’m in love with julie  
  
Alex:   
Reggie, I’m going to let you take this one  
  
Reggie:   
so webster defines news as “previously unknown information”  
  
Luke:  
okay, i see where this is going  
  
Alex:   
It’s really awesome that you realized it  
But we thought you already knew  
  
Reggie:   
cause we’ve known for 4.5 months  
  
Alex:   
We also didn’t think you’d think you had to notify us  
Nor did we think you would notify us by sending us a long monologue about how perfect her smile is  
  
Luke:  
but i was worried you didn’t know  
wait, she and i had only just met four and a half months ago  
  
Alex:   
Yep. Glad you finally caught up  
Have you told her yet?  
  
Luke:  
no, i didn’t want to tell her at work  
  
Reggie:   
but where else would u tell her  
u met outside hogwarts  
and got together outside hogwarts  
so i assume ur gonna tell her u love her outside hogwarts  
and propose outside hogwarts  
and get married outside hogwarts  
and if you have children she’ll give birth outside hogwarts  
hmm maybe inside for the last one  
  
Alex:   
Reggie, you *do* remember that Hogwarts is just a ride queue and not an actual building?  
  
Luke:  
wait, now i’m confused  
should i tell her at work? would that be romantic?  
but what if she doesn’t feel the same?  
maybe i should wait for her to be on, like, pulse, tell her, and then run away?  
so she doesn’t feel pressured to respond  
  
Alex:   
DO NOT DO THAT  
I SWEAR TO GOD  
  
Reggie:   
*merlin  
  
Alex:   
Luke, you’re telling her you love her  
It’s going to be romantic no matter what  
And I really don’t think you have to worry about how she feels  
Focus on figuring out how to invite her to the band  
  


The thing is, Luke has never been in a relationship this long and he’s panicking.

Which, okay, is maybe a bit sad because he and Julie have been together for six weeks. At twenty-two, he feels like he should have had some slightly longer relationships under his belt by now. But his tendency to hyperfocus on music to the exclusion of everything else has always gotten in the way. (Luke is pretty sure that if he mentioned this fear to Alex, Alex would point out something reasonable like "no one needs to have been in any length of relationship at any age," but Luke isn't interested in having rational thoughts right now, so he doesn't bring it up.)

He’s never felt this way before, and he doesn’t know how to handle that. He’s never been so invested in a relationship. He’s never been so fucking terrified at the thought that he might do something to mess this up or that something could happen to disrupt this. Basically, he’s never been so happy before and, as a result, he’s constantly stressed out.

When he asks her to be in the band, it needs to perfect. When he tells her he loves her, it needs to be perfect.

The thing is, it’s surprisingly hard to find the perfect way to tell her, because now that he knows, he basically wants to blurt it out every time he looks at her. “Join the band, I love you.” He knows that the two things should be separate, because they’re two very different things, but he’s frantically bottling them up at the same time and so they’ve become inextricably linked in his mind.

It’s absorbing a lot of his brain space and as much as he likes to think that he’s keeping himself together and being super subtle, there’s a _chance_ that he’s not. In his defense, it’s hard not to be awed by Julie at all times. Like right now. They’re on a bussing shift and he’s ostensibly wiping down a table, but Julie is clearing trays from a nearby booth and chatting with an eleven-year-old boy and his family about what the kid is going to do when he gets his Hogwarts letter.

“What house do you think you’re going to be sorted into?” she asks.

“I don’t know. I think I’m a Ravenclaw, but they have to answer riddles to get into their house, and I’m no good at riddles, so I’m worried I’ll be locked out of my dorm all the time.”

Julie bites back a smile, and he knows that she wants to tell him that she’s a Ravenclaw too. But the food service workers at Potter aren’t allowed to say that they went to Hogwarts for reasons that only make sense to the Warner Bros. reps, so instead she says, “I know some Ravenclaws. They say that everyone works together to solve the riddles, so you get to bond with people in your house.”

The boy scratches his nose, dubious. “But what if you have to get back in and it’s urgent? Like, if you need to pee. Maybe I should just be a Hufflepuff. It seems less stressful.”

“Hufflepuff’s a very good choice. Most of my favorite people are Hufflepuffs.” Julie’s smile is soft and sweet, and his heart squeezes because she’s talking about the band and about him and, fuck, he’s so in love with this woman—

“Who are you staring at?” Caleb asks sternly.

Luke almost jumps. “Uhhhhhh, I just spaced out.”

His hand, the one holding the rag, twitches to rub the back of his head, but he stops himself at the last second. Caleb narrows his eyes.

“You were looking all…” He waves his hands at Luke’s face. Caleb doesn’t explain further, but given what Alex and Reggie have told Luke, he can guess that the rest of the sentence probably has something to do with heart eyes.

“I was just thinking.”

But Caleb follows the trail of his gaze. “New Julie?”

Oh fuck. Caleb has a hard-earned reputation for separating people who are interested in each other while they’re on shift. A reputation that gets even more hardcore when people are actually dating. He only started putting Carrie and Nick on the same assignments _after_ they broke up and, ever since he caught Alex and Willie making out in the supply closet, he always puts them on different roles when he’s their lead. (To be honest, that mostly involves sticking Willie on register and Alex on literally any other position, so Alex is kind of relieved, but still. It’s the principle of the thing.)

Luke and Julie work really well together. And he loves getting to spend the day at work with his girlfriend. He gets grumpy enough when they’re working at completely different times and can’t talk all day. If they have the same shifts—can see each other from afar, but not talk? Nope nope nope, he can’t tolerate that.

So he pulls on a confused expression and tries for casual. “Who’s New Julie?” He glances around, trying to look past his girlfriend. Fuck, there aren’t enough other employees around. The only other busser cleaning tables in the immediate area is—

“Nick?” Caleb asks.

Luke freezes, but fuck it, he can work with that. He nudges Caleb’s arm and, in a conspiratorial voice, whispers, “He’s cute, right?”

Caleb’s lip curls up in a clear “we’re not gossiping friends” expression, and points to the outside section of the Three Brooms. “Go bus zone five. I don’t want to see you over here.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” And Luke flees.

The Colds and the Frozens Group Chat:  
  
Luke:  
if caleb asks, can you say i’m interested in nick?  
  
Alex:   
I have about a million questions  
But I’m assuming that my answer will boil down to “Just tell Julie how you feel”  
  
Luke:  
it’s not about that!  
caleb caught me looking at julie and i didn’t want him to stop us from working together, so i lied  
  
Reggie:   
when u say looking  
do u mean  
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍  
  
Luke:  
i do not look like that  
  
Alex:   
I genuinely think you might be able to sue Apple for using your image without your permission  
  
Luke:  
do i need to tell nick?  
  
Reggie:   
wait, r u interested in nick  
  
Luke:  
no! but it’s weird, right?  
  
Alex:   
Yes, every single part of this is weird  
You and Julie only work with Caleb, like, once a week  
It’s not the end of the world if there’s one shift a week that you don’t get to work with your girlfriend  
  
Luke:  
agree to disagree  
  
Reggie:   
also if u fake date nick  
ur gonna end up real dating nick  
  
Alex:   
True, it’s a time-honored trope  
  
Luke:  
i’m not interested in nick!  
  
Alex:   
Why not?  
  
Reggie:   
yeah what’s wrong with nick  
  
Luke:  
nothing!  
it's just that i’m only interested in people with personalities  
  
Alex:   
… that seems unnecessarily harsh considering he’s not here to defend himself  
  
Reggie:   
should we add him to the chat? since ur fake dating now  
  
Luke:  
why can’t you ever be supportive instead of mocking me?  
  
Alex:   
Why do you keep telling us about all your terrible life choices when you know we’re just going to mock you?  
  
Luke:  
i don’t make terrible life choices  
  
Alex:   
You’ve made exactly one good life choice  
  
Reggie:   
speaking of  
have u told her yet  
  
Luke:  
i dunno how  
  
Reggie:   
“i luv u”  
  
Alex:   
^  
  
Reggie:   
or  
“my love for u burns like a dying phoenix”  
  
Luke:  
please not this again  
  
Alex:   
“I am Siriusly into you” is a classic  
  
Reggie:   
“is ur name firenze? because ur the centaur of my universe”  
  
Alex:   
“When I need to make a Patronus, you're my happy thought”  
  
Luke:  
do you guys, like, keep a list of these on file somewhere?  
  
Reggie:   
we knew this day would come and that you wouldn’t be prepared  
  
Luke:  
i am prepared!  
just trying to find the perfect moment  
  
Reggie:   
ur supposed to be telling julie that ur in love with her and want her to join the band  
and instead ur pretending to have a crush on nick cause u don’t want to put food on plates without ur girlfriend  
i’m not sure if that’s cute or sad  
  
Alex:   
Seriously, how are you so bad at being in love with your girlfriend?  
  
Luke:  
Read 7:32 PM  
  


The next shift Luke works with Nick, he also seems to have with Caleb, who passes him in the changing room with a deeply suspicious glance between the two guys.

Fuck. Today is going to be weird, isn’t it? He’s gonna have to warn Nick.

After they’re both changed, Luke shuffles over to Nick and clears his throat. “Hey, so, this is awkward.” Nick furrows his brow because, yeah, okay, that’s an ominous opening. Luke tries to speak in a rush, like any of this becomes less uncomfortable if he just verbalizes it more quickly. “I kinda told Caleb that I’m interested in you because I didn’t want him to figure out who my girlfriend is.”

Nick is, admittedly, a decent guy, so even though his eyes go wide with surprise, he takes the sentence in and let his brain process it fully before he responds. “You want to keep working with her?”

“Yeah.”

A sympathetic look crosses Nick’s face. “Carrie and I tried a similar thing.”

Relief immediately fills Luke. He knows that Alex and Reggie are mostly messing with him, but he can’t express how glad he is that Nick just gets it instead of treating Luke like he’s being ridiculous. “I just figured I owed you a heads up in case Caleb is… weird.”

“Don’t worry about it. Who’s your girlfriend?”

Luke tries and fails to not flood his face with the gigantic smile he wears every time he’s given an excuse to talk about his girlfriend. “Julie. Molina.”

“Oh.” Nick’s face falls. “New Julie?”

Honestly, the last Julie quit five months ago. When does Julie get to just be Julie? “Yeah.”

“Cool cool cool cool cool.” Nick immediately looks like he regrets the number of cools he just uttered, but it’s out now and they both have to live in the ensuing weirdness.

“Yeah, she’s cool.” aka she’s talented and brilliant and gorgeous and everything he didn’t know he should dream of and just _the best_ , but Luke feels like it would be rude to rub all that in Nick’s face.

“Cool.”

They have _got_ to stop saying cool. “Anyways, see you out there?”

Nick nods awkwardly and turns back to his locker, and Luke spends his entire walk into the park regretting all but one of his life choices.

But at least he’s found a good deflection for Caleb’s curiosity. Or so he thinks.

By the time Luke clocks in, Caleb’s absorbed in lecturing one of the new bussers, so Luke hovers by control waiting for his shift assignment. Glancing across the restaurant, he can see through the doorway to Julie standing outside on greeter. She’s far away and backlit by the bright sun from outside, but he watches her outline dance her hands to the background music the way she always does on greeter and his heart skips painfully.

Reggie and Alex have a point. How _did_ he go six weeks before figuring out how absolutely gone he was?

A guest trying to get around him coughs loudly, and Luke scrambles out of the way. But he moves too quickly, and almost falls into another guest walking up behind him.

He notices too late that Caleb’s been watching him the entire time. And that Nick is nowhere in view.

Caleb turns his head, peering in the direction Luke was looking, but the restaurant is just hitting lunchtime and it’s busy, so it’s not clear who Luke was staring at. What is clear, though, is that Luke was not looking at Nick. The shift lead strides over to Luke and smiles in this bright, threatening way that makes it very clear that his pleasantries are declarations of war. “What are you looking at?”

“This magical place where we’re all so lucky to work.”

“You’re not interested in Nick, are you?”

“Pretty sure that’s none of your business.”

“It’s my business when it affects your work. You almost knocked a guest into a wall.”

“Of-of course I’m interested in Nick.”

“Name something you like about him.”

“Uhhhhhhhh.” Crap. Nick’s a decent person, but there’s no trait that immediately comes to mind that Luke can even pretend to be interested in. He wears hats outside of work? But Luke fundamentally disagrees with the existence of fedoras. 

Nick chooses now to appear at Luke’s side, but Caleb doesn’t even look at him. “Luke, if you can’t keep your eyes on your work, then you need to be stationed elsewhere. So, who am I scheduling you away from?”

To his credit, Nick instantly figures out that Luke’s plan failed. Unfortunately, he chooses to express it by insisting, “It’s none of your business who Luke’s girlfriend is.”

Fuck.

“ _Girl_ friend?” Caleb swings his gaze around the restaurant, but luckily it doesn’t seem to occur to him that they can see the greeter from all the way over here. He smiles at Luke, poisonous. “Who’s your girlfriend?”

“None of your business.” Luke tries for the same insistent tone as Nick, but it clearly doesn’t have the same effect.

Caleb crosses his arms, studying Luke for a second with that venomous joy on his face. “Nick, you’re bussing in zone 3. Luke, greeter 2.”

Nick’s mouth drops open in horror, which is gratifying. “Greeter 2???” Luke snaps.

“We all do our part here, Patterson, like the helpful, honest family we are.” Raising an eyebrow, Caleb nonverbally invites Luke to come clean.

Luke clenches his jaw. “Greeter 2 it is.”

* * *

Greeter 2 is objectively the worst position in the Three Brooms. During the lunch rush, greeter 2 stands inside the restaurant and notifies greeter 1 when the queue inside has moved forward enough that they can let in more people from the overflow queue outside. For the most part, greeter 2 could be replaced by just having a bigger window in the front of the restaurant. Pulse may be horrible, but at least it requires thinking. Greeter 2 stands alone and occasionally makes hand gestures.

When Julie turns around to see that Luke has replaced Dante, a smile that borders on a smirk fills her face. She temporarily abandons her post to step into the doorway, incredulous. “What on earth are you doing _here_?”

“Caleb is torturing me for information.”

“What?”

“It’s a long story.” His voice comes out as a whine, and her smile turns mischievous. “You’re enjoying this,” he pouts.

“I’ve never seen you on greeter 2. Look how far the expo god has fallen.” He smiles in spite of himself. God, he loves Cocky Julie—he knows how long and hard the journey to confidence was for her. “Do you need me to explain how this position works?”

If they were outside of the park, he would throw up a playful middle finger. Conscious of the families all around him, he settles for, “Don’t cite the Deep Magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written.”

“Wrong fantasy franchise. You’re _really_ off your game today. Maybe this time on greeter 2 will be good for you.”

He shakes his head at her in defiant disbelief. “Remind me again why I…” _Don’t say love!_ “… like you?”

“Because I’m a wrecking ball.” She smirks and skips back to her post.

Even though greeter 2 is the most boring position at the Three Brooms, it’s semi-bearable with Julie on greeter 1. They don’t get to talk, but she turns to him constantly with hand gestures indicating how big groups are, and he either waves them in or holds up a pause signal. It’s not a super romantic activity, but he gets to spend hours looking at her face and seeing her smile and watching her interact with guests, and that’s pretty okay.

Like when a guest in a Bellatrix Lestrange costume skips by the front of the Three Brooms yelling, “I killed Sirius Black! I killed Sirius Black!” and Julie yells back, “Quick, someone owl the Ministry!” It’s so dorky and he just feels unbearably soft inside. _Join the band, I love you._

Look, he knows that the things he finds attractive are not normal. He came here to earn minimum wage, not to be judged.

Really, the biggest issue with being on greeter 2 is that Caleb keeps sweeping by and scrutinizing his face. Luke is trying to interact with Julie by making the most normal, platonic faces possible, but he attempted to make platonic faces at her for the first three months of knowing her and the guys informed him repeatedly that he failed. Maybe his face isn’t capable of having any chill around Julie Molina.

The entire staff at the Three Brooms knows that something is going down, because Luke hasn’t been on greeter 2 since his first shift over a year ago. All his coworkers keep swinging by to ask what’s up, and he’s increasingly conscious of the fact that this is all happening because he couldn’t stop staring at his girlfriend because he needs to have a terrifying conversation with her. Every time someone asks why he’s on greeter 2, he wants to scream, “Because I want Julie to join the band and I’m in love with her.”

Even Carrie becomes invested. When she comes over to relieve Julie for her lunch break, Carrie eyes him skeptically. “Why are _you_ here?” It’s probably the closest she’s ever come to complimenting him.

“Caleb’s trying to figure out who my girlfriend is.”

He realizes belatedly that that isn’t a direct or clear answer but, just like Nick, Carrie’s able to fill in the blanks and she skips right ahead to, “ _You_ have a girlfriend?”

“… yeah, why?”

“I just assumed you were, like, in a committed monogamous relationship with your guitar.”

She doesn’t wait for a reply, instead going over to Julie and taking the menus from her. Julie heads back into the restaurant and nods at Luke as she passes. Luke feels like he does a normal smile in response, but Carrie, who’s glancing back at them, instantly raises a knowing eyebrow.

Seriously, what is he doing with his face? What do other people do with their faces???

* * *

After their shift, Luke is waiting for Julie in the wardrobe atrium when Carrie marches up to him. “You know Caleb’s not going to give up until he figures it out, right?”

Luke just groans in response.

Suddenly, Carrie giggles flirtatiously and playfully touches his shoulder. He almost flinches away from her before he realizes that Caleb is walking by on his way to the employee exit. The lead scrutinizes the two of them, looking slightly more convinced than he did with Nick.

Maybe it’s heteronormativity or maybe it’s because Carrie actually has a personality or maybe Larrie seems more plausible than Nuke, but no matter what, Luke is offended on Nick’s behalf. He would much rather fake date Nick than Carrie.

The instant the escalator drags Caleb from view, Carrie jerks her hand away.

“Why are you helping?” Luke asks.

“Because Caleb is the living embodiment of the worst.” She rolls her eyes as she says it, but Luke’s reminded that they’re talking about the guy who stuck this woman on shifts with her ex right after their explosive breakup. No amount of disdain for her coworkers can compare to the loathing she feels for the lead. “Do you want us to _Spartacus_ this?”

“… do I want us to… revolt?”

She rolls her eyes again. “Get a bunch of girls we work with to pretend to be your girlfriend so Caleb can’t figure out which is the real one.”

Luke has a sudden, vivid image of a bunch of his coworkers standing up in the Three Brooms and yelling “I’m Luke’s girlfriend!” It’s the moment when his brain finally catches up with how impressively out of control this situation has spiraled.

“Uh, thanks? But I don’t want to make this weird.”

“Too late.” She doesn’t roll her eyes this time, but her face conveys the same thing. “Look, you on greeter 2 is useless for the rest of us. Do what you have to do to get Caleb to put you back on expo.”

“I don’t want to go back to expo if I can’t work it with my girlfriend.”

Unlike Nick, she doesn’t get it. “Wow. That’s one of saddest things I’ve ever heard.” She stalks away, shaking her head.

😍OMG JUST TELL HER Group Chat:  
  
Luke:  
okay so caleb didn’t buy the nick thing, but he maybe thinks i’m dating carrie  
  
Alex:   
I don’t want to be a dick about this, but  
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE INVITING JULIE TO THE BAND. AND TELLING HER THAT YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HER  
  
Luke:  
i’m a little distracted by this whole caleb thing!  
  
Reggie:   
but why  
  
Luke:  
because  
  
Reggie:   
huh  
no, i still don’t get why  
  
Alex:   
Are you getting distracted on purpose?  
  
Luke:  
why would i do that?  
  
Alex:   
Because you’re afraid of rejection?  
  
Luke:  
i’m not afraid of rejection!  
… should i be??  
do u think she’s going to reject me???  
  
Reggie:   
the only way to find out is to tell her  
  
Luke:  
i’m not afraid of rejection  
i just love working with jules  
i know you guys think that’s ridiculous, but i love when we work together and i don’t want caleb ruining it  
  
Alex:   
Okay, but you can manage this Caleb stuff AND invite Julie to join the band AND tell her you love her. None of that is mutually exclusive  
  
Luke:  
i’ve never done any of this stuff before  
i’m just trying to figure out what to say  
  
Alex:   
“I may not be the Boy Who Lived, but I can still be your Chosen One”  
  
Reggie:   
“u must be a snitch, because i’ve been seeking u my whole life”  
  
Luke:  
… fuck, that’s actually cute  
like, I’m not using it, but it’s cute  
  
Alex:   
It’s been two weeks and you haven’t said anything else, so let’s not rule it out  
  
Reggie:   
“u have the portkey to my heart”  
  
Alex:   
I hate to be a Luke about this  
But doesn’t that technically mean that she can, like, physically travel into his heart?  
  
Luke:  
yeah, that’s not romantic, that’s murder  
do you have any hp-themed ways to ask someone to join your band?  
  
Reggie:   
“can u sing like a hippogriff”  
“would u like to join my frog choir”  
  
Luke:  
…  
  
Alex:   
A simple “no” would have sufficed  
  


Caleb is normally a lead at the Three Brooms, not on carts, so the fact that he’s on carts today at exactly the same shift time as Julie and Luke feels like proof that the scheduling office is messing with Luke.

Caleb shoots him that poisonous smile. “It’s busy out there. We’re going to need hawkers.”

Luke’s heart sinks. Hawking isn’t the worst carts assignment, but it’s still pretty crap. When the lines at the Butterbeer carts are too long, hawkers fill trays with frozen Butterbeers and sell them in the streets of Hogsmeade to alleviate some of the pressure on the carts. The thing that’s weird about hawking is the pacing—you languidly pour a bunch of Butterbeers alone in the carts office with no one to bother you and then, the instant you walk outside, you’re completely mobbed by thirsty guests who spend two minutes desperately trying to buy all your Butterbeers and complaining that you don’t accept credit card. (Yeah, no shit, you’re just a wizard with a wad of cash in your apron pocket WHERE ON EARTH WOULD YOU BE KEEPING A CARD READER??) It’s lonely and frantic and stressful and not at all fun.

“Luke, hawking. Julie, Butterbeer 1, register on street side.” Julie raises a gloating eyebrow at Luke and, again, he can’t help but enjoy her confidence. But it’s quickly brought down by Caleb. “And Julie, your nametag is scratched. Either learn to cast _Reparo_ or get a new one.” Luke glances over to see a long, jagged scratch across the face of her nametag which… oof. Replacing those isn’t cheap.

“Will _you_ be paying for it?” Julie mumbles petulantly as Caleb stalks away.

Luke spends the shift torturously close to her but so far away. She’s killing on register. (Of course she is.) Meanwhile, he’s desperately trying to make change out of his pocket while impatient guests chuck money at him and attempt to snatch the Butterbeers off his tray. His entire shift is devoted to trying to make sure that no one steals money or beverages. So eight hours later, when he and Julie slump into the cash center to check their final register totals, he’s completely exhausted. He collapses against the cash counting machine next to her as she feeds the coins and bills from her till into the machine.

She eyes him sympathetically. “Okay, what’s the deal with Caleb?”

“I won’t tell him who I’m dating.”

“Why not?”

He almost laughs when he realizes that, while he’s been consumed by all this Caleb nonsense, she has no idea about the lead’s reputation. In the five months that she’s worked there, the only other major new Three Brooms relationship is Willie and Alex, who don’t mind being separated at work because they’re “not codependent” (whatever that means). She hasn’t witnessed Caleb in his element.

“Because I love working with you, and he’ll split us up. He always splits up couples on shift.”

“Well, he split us up today. Will it really be any different?”

“Yeah. Say goodbye to ever working together when he’s our lead. And say hello to him trying to make sure at least one of us is working under him every shift.” Focusing on his feet, Luke refuses to look at her. He doesn’t know how to articulate why he loves working with her, or how important it is to him. He fell in love with her for a lot of different reasons, but part of it was being on the expo line with her and working Butterbeer carts together. Seeing how she reacts under pressure, knowing she has his back, watching her interact with guests… experiencing her in her element when it feels like the world is burning around them. They’ve only been dating two months, but it feels like longer because their bond was forged in fire, and she’s one of few people he’ll ever have that bond with. He doesn’t want to hear or see her be dismissive of how much their working relationship means to him.

But she slips her hand into his and squeezes. “I love working together too.” He forces his eyes up to hers. Her smile is gentle, like she can almost read his thoughts on his face. “But if Caleb’s going to punish you by sticking you on all the worst jobs, is it really worth it?”

Before he can reply with something very sappy, the machine beeps and prints out a slip. She compares it to her register receipt, checking the total of what she should have in her cash drawer against what she actually has.

“Fuck,” she hisses. “When do you get points on your account?”

“One point for every ten dollars you’re over or under. You off?”

“$10.50 under.”

He pulls a dollar from his apron pocket and, conscious of the security cameras watching them, smoothly pretends to pull it out of her now empty cash drawer. “Look what you found loose at the bottom of your till.”

She smiles but shakes her head. “What if you’re off and you get points?”

“Please. I’ve never been off.”

Eyeing him, she runs the single bill through the machine. “Are you judging me because I’m not a register god?”

The only other person in the cash center is a Honeydukes employee who isn’t paying any attention to them and has no idea who they are, so he slides in closer to Julie and cups her cheek. “You _are_ a register god. You just had a mortal day. Happens to the best of us.”

“Not to you though.”

The machine beeps and prints out her extra slip, and they swap places. As Luke feeds his bills into the machine, she rests her cheek on his shoulder. The Honeydukes employee walks out of the cash center, leaving the two of them alone.

Even knowing the security camera is watching them, even knowing they’re at work, it still feels like they’re in a private bubble. Luke looks down at her, his heart hammering loudly in his chest as she glances up through her lashes. _Join the band, I love you, join the band, I love you, join the band, I love you…_

But suddenly the enormity of those confessions overwhelms him, and he feels like a kid again, like when he was first learning guitar and he wanted to play for his mother to find out if she thought he was any good. He was so afraid that she would say he was bad that he locked himself in his room, practicing for hours until his baby calluses couldn’t protect him anymore and his fingertips hurt so badly that he could barely press the strings, but he kept practicing anyways because it wasn’t perfect yet and it had to be perfect because otherwise he wasn’t good enough and—

The machine beeps and Luke pulls out his cash slip to compare to the receipt that Caleb pre-printed for him. When he realizes what the slips say, he freezes.

“What?” Julie asks.

“I’m, uh, even.”

Her mouth falls open and a mischievous grin spreads across her face. “How’s mortality taste?”

He can’t help himself—he ducks his head to kiss her quickly. “Officially, I’m still immortal.”

“But you and I know better. One whole dollar off.”

“Hey, a dollar off while hawking. I think that still qualifies me as a god.”

“You do know I’m never going to let this go, right? When we’re 70, I’m still going to be bringing this up.”

His heart stumbles at the implication and her brain seems to catch up with her words. Eyes widening with embarrassment, she opens her mouth to take it back, but he cuts in first. “We growing old together?”

A smile curls up the corner of her mouth. “Just so I can mock you for this one time you were a dollar off.”

“Long-term investment in a small mistake.”

“Well, I’m very committed to making fun of you.” But the teasing has left her face, and she’s just gazing at him, warm and sure. _Join the band, I love you_. It should be easy, and it should be now.

But in the cash center? That’s about as far from perfect as he can imagine.

So all he says back is, “And I’m very committed to being made fun of by you.”

* * *

That evening, Alex, Reggie, and Luke are workshopping “Bright” while Julie watches from her spot on the couch with Willie. As Sunset Curve plays through the song, Luke can feel the frustration building up in his body. There’s something missing, but he can’t put his finger on it, and all the variations they try aren’t working.

“Reg, can you sing up the octave?” Julie asks.

Oh. Of course. _Julie_ is what’s missing.

“Nope, we’re already straining my upper range as it is,” Reggie sighs.

Pulling her eyebrows together in frustration, she studies the current version of the song in Luke’s journal, deep in thought.

Alex and Reggie both turn on Luke with a pointed stare. Even Willie, who’s obviously kept updated by Alex, glares at him with “Seriously, bro?” written all over his face. Luke opens his mouth to say it, to invite her to the band, but the words refuse to leave his mouth. Like a swimmer on a diving board too scared to jump.

Look, he’s never claimed to be a Gryffindor. 

“We’ll figure it out another time. Why don’t we break for the night?” he suggests. Despairing, all the guys shake their heads at him.

* * *

After Luke brushes his teeth, he comes back to his room and has to stop dead in the doorway. Julie is in his bed, her hair in braids, wearing her glasses, her absolutely ridiculous pajama pants, and his sweatshirt. He’s seen this view at least a couple dozen times by now, but he never gets tired of it, of how perfectly she fits in his space. _Join the band, I love you._

She pulls her gaze from the laptop in front of her and catches him staring. “What?”

The words fizzle out on his tongue. “You’re beautiful,” he says instead, throwing himself down on the bed next to her. He snuggles his cheek onto her shoulder, peering at the screen. It’s an apartment search site.

“You moving?”

“My lease was only for six months, and now it’s on a month-by-month, but I don’t love Eagle Rock.”

Luke has no opinion on Eagle Rock, except that during peak traffic hours it can be more than forty minutes away from his house in North Hollywood and sometimes after long days, they can’t find the energy to make that journey to visit each other. In conclusion, Luke hates Eagle Rock.

“Where are you looking?”

“I still don’t know LA super well, so I’m not sure.”

“Do you want my opinions as a born-and-bred Angeleno?”

She slides the laptop onto his lap. He goes through the long list of neighborhoods in the search filter, unchecking most of them. When she clocks the pattern, she bursts out laughing. “Okay, I may not be an expert on LA, but I can’t help but notice that you’ve only left neighborhoods here in the Valley.”

“Well, you want to be close to work.”

“True.”

“And if you live in the Valley, you avoid the worst parts of the 101 and the 405.”

“Sort of true.”

He finally gets the courage to look at her. She’s beaming at him and his mouth smiles back before he can stop it. Hoping he seems casual, he shrugs. “And yeah, it would be kinda cool to not have to get on the freeway to visit my girlfriend.”

She kisses his shoulder as she studies the list of neighborhoods. “Well, you have to get on the freeway to get to Sherman Oaks.”

He nods and unselects it. “Good point. And some parts of Van Nuys. Also Studio City.”

“Burbank?”

“You can get to west Burbank on streets, but you’re too cool to live in Burbank.”

They work their way through the list until she raises her eyebrows at what’s left. “So, basically, North Hollywood.”

“And Toluca Lake and Valley Village,” he insists, trying to make it sound like he’s not just telling her to move in right next door.

But she shakes her head, unconvinced. “You said most people call them North Hollywood anyways.”

“Yeah, so we’ve got a range: NoHo and knockoff NoHo.”

Her laughter fades as she meets his eyes, and he swallows sharply because he can almost hear Alex in his head yelling about how overeager he’s being. “Sorry.”

Her eyebrows draw together. “What are you sorry for?”

“We’ve been dating for two months. It’s a bit excessive for me to say you should move to my part of LA.”

“Your part of LA is close to work, and it sort of avoids the worst parts of the 101 and the 405.” He laughs. “And… I don’t know. Does it feel like two months to you?”

She studies her hands, like she’s confessing something, and he doesn’t hesitate. “No, not really.”

“I mean, it’s not like we just met two month ago. And we're basically together every day. And we worked a double together _on_ expo _on_ the Fourth of July. Emotionally, we’ve probably been dating at least eight months.”

“At least,” he agrees, his grin taking over his face.

She boops his nose with hers. “Me moving anywhere in LA is basically throwing a dart randomly at a map. You, the guys, Flynn, Willie—you’re all up here. Why shouldn’t I move here?” Convinced, she hits "search."

_No results in price range._

“Okay, that’s why.”

“Yeahhh, apartment hunting in LA can be, uh, a lengthy journey.”

Tucking herself under his arm, she yawns loudly into his chest. “I’m in no rush.”

Looking down at her, all dozy and cuddled up to him, he feels the words rush through him again. _Join the band, I love you, join the band, I love you, join the band, I love you._

He opens his mouth and the words are _right there_ , and he’s on the verge of saying them, but as soon as his body realizes that this is happening, it floods with terror. She’s always been the brave one. If she hasn’t said it, that’s gotta mean something, right? What if she’s not there yet? What if saying these things ruins their perfect little honeymoon bubble? What if he is, as Alex frequently points out, being too much?

He sets her laptop on her nightstand and lets her fall asleep on him. But he can’t even close his eyes.

Wizards of NoHo Place Group Chat:  
  
Luke:  
it's too soon  
  
Reggie:   
for what  
  
Luke:  
for me to be in love  
  
Alex:   
There isn’t a timeline for this stuff  
Everyone’s different  
  
Luke:  
have you said it to willie?  
  
Alex:   
No, we’re not there yet  
I definitely will be soon, but we haven’t really known each other as long as you two have  
  
Reggie:   
i googled it, the internet says this is a statistically average time for u to say it  
but also it agrees with alex and says there’s no timeline  
  
Luke:  
what if i scare her off?  
  
Reggie:   
u said that her assembling food trays was hot  
  
Alex:   
And you tried to flirt with “Do the Hippogriff”  
Repeatedly, actually  
  
Reggie:   
if that didn’t scare her off, i think she’s immune to ur lukeness  
  
Alex:   
I’m more concerned about the “join the band” conversation  
  
Reggie:   
ooh i had ideas for that  
“i have an opening for frontwoman in my band. do u wanna slytherin”  
  
Luke:  
neither of us are slytherins  
  
Alex:   
Once again, you fail spectacularly to grasp the point  
  
Reggie:   
“u may be a muggle, but that voice is magical”  
  
Luke:  
how dare you call my girlfriend a muggle  
not that there’s anything wrong with muggles  
but julie is too magical to be anything but a witch  
  
Reggie:   
“u must be sunset curve’s horcrux because u complete us”   
  
Alex:   
That’s either brilliant or complete nonsense  
  
Reggie:   
thank u, that’s the niche market i’m trying to corner  
  


After all the build up with Caleb, it is, of course, the smallest thing that gives them away. Luke oversleeps and spends the next morning rushing, and it’s not until he arrives at the carts office that he realizes something is wrong with his uniform.

Caleb eyes his nametag. “Julie?”

Oh crap. Luke looks down at his chest to see his girlfriend’s nametag with its long distinctive scratch down the front. He must have grabbed the wrong one as he sprinted out the door.

“Uhhhhhhhh.”

“So New Julie’s your girlfriend.”

“Um. No? I just—” Crap. There’s really no valid reason for him to have someone else’s nametag.

Caleb sidesteps Luke’s complete inability to lie and sizes him up. “I can see it.”

… why do people keep saying that? What does that mean?????

Beyond that, Caleb doesn’t really seem to have a reaction—after all, it’s not like he really cared who Luke was dating. He just wanted to know so that he could separate them. But at least the torture is finally done.

That dangerous smile spreads over Caleb’s face again.

Oh no.

* * *

“What on earth are you doing on Hippo?”

Heading into the park for the beginning of her shift, Julie stops dead at the solo drinks cart in front of the Flight of the Hippogriff ride.

Luke grimaces. “Caleb figured us out.”

“How?”

He taps the nametag he’s wearing. Her mouth drops open and she looks down at her own nametag.

“Thought something looked different.” She eyes him sympathetically. “How long do you think you’re going to be banished?”

“Presumably anytime we’re both assigned to Caleb. Jules, he put Dante on Butterbeer 1 instead of me. Dante!”

She tries to maintain the look of sympathy, but a smile wriggles at the corner of her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“You wanna come over after work? Give me something to look forward to to get me through this…,” he trails off as a small child runs by, “... magical day.”

“Yeah, I’ll just need to go back to my place first to pick up some clothes. I’ve run through the stuff I have at yours.” He smiles to himself as he realizes that, yeah, she’s already been over for two nights in a row.

“That’s perfect actually. The guys are out tonight, so if you come over after seven, I can have dinner ready and maybe we can jam and write for a bit? Something about the second verse of ‘Great’ is feeling… meh to me, and I’d love your thoughts.”

Julie hesitates, and he’s about to apologize for… he’s not sure what, but then she meets his gaze and points out, “We’ve been writing together a lot lately.”

“Sorry, do you not—”

“No, I love it. I just...” Her voice trails off as she scrutinizes him. Then she inhales deeply, squares her shoulders, and lifts her chin. “Okay, feel free to tell me that this is presumptuous, but you said you wanted a fourth for the band and we perform well together and we write well together and… I don’t know, maybe while you’re trapped here with nothing else to do, you can think about whether it would be a terrible idea for me to join the band?”

His mouth drops open.

 _Of course_ she said it first. 

What comes out of his mouth is the natural conclusion to _join the band_ : “I love you.”

Now her mouth drops open. “What?”

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

He rubs the back of his head, tripping over his words as he tries to refocus the conversation on what she said. “Yeah, no, for sure, you should join the band. I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask. We all want you to join. No need to think about it. You’re in.”

The distraction doesn’t work. “You love me?” She takes in their surroundings. “You’re telling me this _here_?”

He can’t get a read on how she feels, so he just chuckles helplessly. “Apparently?” She keeps staring at him, so he rushes to reassure her, “It’s totally cool if you don’t, um... I know it’s maybe fast? I mean, according to Reggie, it’s statistically average, so it’s not weird, I’m not being weird, but it’s fine if you…”

She bursts out laughing. He scrunches up his face, staring down at his cart with his cheeks so warm that they may be on fire. Or it’s the LA summer sun.

Nope, he’s in the shade. It’s well-deserved shame.

“You’re such a disaster,” she replies fondly.

“Luke Patterson, Pansexual Disaster Hufflepuff, at your service.” He finally meets her eyes and his heart goes still because she’s smiling back at him with such soft affection on every inch of her face. That look melts all the fear and nervousness in his body and he leans forward on the cart, bringing their faces closer than they should be considering they’re at work.

She catches her lip between her teeth and eyes him with gentle longing. “I don’t want to say it here. When I say it, I want to be able to kiss you.”

“You don’t have to say it.”

“But it’s true.”

The grin explodes on his face so quickly and so massive that he feels like he might actually have hurt himself. “Yeah?”

“Of course.”

She studies him for a second, then tugs off her nametag and presses a kiss to his name before she hands it to him. He touches the nametag to his mouth, eyes lingering on her face as if they’re really sharing a kiss. Then he takes off his nametag and passes it to her.

As they both slide their proper nametags onto their work shirts, she asks, “Are we gross?”

“Yeah, we’re super gross.”

“Huh. I don’t really care.”

“Me neither.” He grins at her. Now that it’s out, he can’t contain himself. “I love you,” he says again, more slowly this time, enjoying the warm, soft feeling of the words rolling around on his tongue.

Joy glows on every inch of her face and he finally understands what the guys mean by heart eyes. She hesitates for a split second, then declares, “I love you too,” leans over the cart, and presses a quick kiss to his lips.

Startled and delighted, he laughs out a “Jules!” He glances around, even though he already knows there’s a camera watching them.

But she beams, completely unrepentant. “What are they going to do, stick me on Hippo?”

“Caleb would probably bring out the FJ cart today just to spite us.”

She slips her hand into his and squeezes it. “I can handle FJ. And Caleb. I’ll see you after work?”

He nods, and she flashes him a grin before she starts to walk into Hogsmeade. Her footsteps slow and she turns back to look at him. She puts her hand over her nametag for a moment, mouths “I love you,” and then heads into the park with a stride that’s almost a strut.

Does he scare guests all day with the giant, unmovable grin on his face? Yeah.

Does he care? Absolutely not.

Julie’s Butterbeers Group Chat:  
  
Alex:   
Wait, so you told her while you were working Hippo?  
  
Luke:  
yeah, why?  
  
Reggie:   
so u said "i luv u" in front of hogwarts  
  
Luke:  
... fuck  
  
Reggie:   
hahahaha now ur locked in  
better propose fast before we stop working here  
  
Luke:  
reg, chill  
we’ve been dating for two months  
  
Alex:   
I’m sorry, but when I walked by your room last night  
Did I or did I not hear you telling Julie “You should move to North Hollywood”  
  
Luke:  
new phone, who dis  
  
Reggie:   
on a sorta related note  
u’ll never guess what I just overheard in the carts office  
caleb put in his notice two weeks ago  
apparently today was his last day  
  
Luke:  
…  
ARE YOU SERIOUS  
  
Alex:   
I love it here  
This is the best timeline  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't work it into this fic, but "The Butterbeer Himbos" is 100% what Flynn calls them.
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr](https://pearlcaddy.tumblr.com/), where we can yell about JatP together and where I post the occasional preview or exclusive snippets like [this](https://pearlcaddy.tumblr.com/post/642251819998904320/id-be-willing-to-be-your-imaginery-interviewer)!


End file.
